"I felt as if I were asphyxiating in an avalanche of sagging flesh."

If someone said the quote above to you, would you want to see the movie being described? (No, it's not Grandma Gangbangers 87. In this case, the movie is Wild Hogs and the unfortunate soul who had to sit through the movie was Michael Sragow of the Baltimore Sun.) I would say no; however, stupid people turned out in droves this week (to the tune of 38 million dollars) in order to laugh at the comedic stylings of Vinnie Barbarino, Tim "The Tool" Taylor, "Black Knight", Ghost Rider, and uhhh...William H. Macy.

Hey look, it's a bunch of washed up (Sorry, William, I'll let this one slide) actors in a movie about a motorcycle craze that died down for most of the country 3 years ago! I wonder who gets in a misunderstanding with a "Hell's Angel" type? I wonder who will accidentally knock down a row of bikes making every one run for their life? I wonder who'll get caught selling drugs and spend time in prison? (Oh, wait, that's Tim Allen.) I wonder which one will forget to pack some Depends and have to borrow a slightly used pair from John Travolta? (That's Xenu juice to you, pal.) I wonder how many American Chopper t-shirts were in the crowd? (Over half, probably.)

Thankfully, there was some counter-programming for the few of us (13.1 million dollars) who aren't easily placated with the loose jowls of Travotla in the form of Zodiac. It took something that could be done in a very boring way (based on the Zodiac serial killer from the late 60's in California), and made it very interesting and suspenseful. It also stuck to the facts reasonably well.

So, if you want to use your brain and see a good movie, see Zodiac.
If you hate your life and your self-loathing knows no limits, see Wild Hogs.